I LEARNT TO LOVE AGAIN

1. One sweet, breezy harmattan evening
I met someone that sent my head spinning
All I could think of was - This is Love
And My! Was it a moment to think of!
' Couldn't keep me thoughts to meself
had to let her know love had drifted off my privacy shelf
All I could do was follow the song in my heart
Never did I think we'd ever be apart.
T'was a love I was willing to die for
Crazy was I and I found nothing else to live for
Two years down the line and I was as hooked as ever
Until she told me her answer was finally: "NEVER"!

2. Heart-Broken? What an understatement!!
Death would have been a merciful compliment.
All I remembered were the "wasted" years of doting love
Never thought I'd ever find the courage to turn the curve...
...and suddenly, there she was! My angel, my Bertha
T'was as though she'd be mine for much longer than forever
A touch was all it took from those heavenly fingers,
A smile, a look and I was ready to lose my integers
To love again (I thought) was a dream forlorn
But since she came - I have been long gone
3. We got married in the Spring of 2007
and from the first night, I had a glimpse of heaven
I swear love has never been, to me, clearer
Than each day I spend in the presence of my Bertha.
It goes to show that no hope is lost.
As long as love beats in your heart, don't mind the cost
One day you will smile again - I assure you!
Because I'm a living testimony and I know it's true.
No matter how badly you've been hurt in love, remember these three things:
(a) You were too good to end up with the person who hurt you
(b) You have just been given an opportunity of finding an upgraded version of love
(c) You've just had one more practice session of how NOT to fall in love.
Think about it! I love you! I know I do!!!

THE FAMILY THAT ROCKED MY WORLD

1. There was nothing that showed
they had to love me they way they did
I was one who inspired nothing but a cold
yet they pesevered to plant a great seed
Their love heped me out of life's quagmire
They are the family of Victoria Nya.

2. Mummy Vic is a giver - nothing short of a Diva
She made my day more than once - can't really pay her
When I needed a mum, I didn't need to look far
For such a mum, none could find dearer.
Ever young -length of days is my prayer
May she be there to carry my little daughter
Of course none could wish for a mum better.
I stopped looking when I found Mummy Nya.

3. She's a beauty to behold; her name is Rekia
Everything good in her came from her mother
Never seen her pompous - but none could be prouder
Than me for having her as a sister.
Guys, take a look at this damsel - brother!
She doesn't even need to shake what mama gave her
A treasure indeed I have come to admire
and her name (oh! So beautiful!) is Rekia.

4. He was my classmate - he set the ball rolling
We were like uncommon twins - he had a better following
I was more like the sidekick but that was just my feeling
'cos he gave the word "brother" a whole new meaning.
A guru with computers, a designer with competence
Seemed to treat girls with a special kind of reverence
Not a gentleman, mind you, just polite and honest
with a side-kick (me) who was really no contest.
All hail my Bros, (Oga, stand up please)
His name, believe me, is Nya Louis.

5. She basically threw me off my feet
Each time she smile and showed her pretty teeth
Couldn't summon the courage to have a go
'cos for someone her class, all I expected was NO!
But she was nothing but wonderful company
Gave me many a reason to smile properly
When she got married, she left a broken-hearted greenhorn
She's still my friend, though, her name's Sharon.

6. A native doctor she turned out to be
This beauty that learnt French so quickly
Used to practice on me - the all round ninny
But we got by - oh! so beautifully
She made a good thing out of nothing
Always was resourcefully daunting
Could win a contest - anytime, any day
Always ahead of her peers - never lacked what to say
A Modern Native Doctor of her Era
All hail the vivacious Kerah.

7. She was the baby of the house - looked like a teddy
Now grown into a pretty lady (still so cuddly)
Expressive eyes and girl of few words
None could imagine how strong were the cords
Mother and daughter bonded so beautifully
Over and over, it was a joy to see
Ufaan may not really be the finished article
But to all of us, She is more than a Miracle.

8. I could go on all day, you know
Love is a seed I really know how to sow
They taught me well, never took me as odd -
This dear family that really rocked my world

SEVEN MAXIMS OF TIME MANAGEMENT!

SEVEN MAXIMS OF TIME MANAGEMENT!

by Michael A. Femi-Adebanjo on Tuesday, 26 October 2010 at 23:27

Ignorance is the greatest enemy of man; and the worse ignorance is to be ignorant of your ignorance.  Then, we say education is progressive to the discovering of our ignorance. 

Management means to conduct the affairs of business, to have work under control while providing direction, to guide other employees, to administer or organize work processes and systems, and to handle problems. Managers monitor and control work while helping a group of employees to conduct their work more successfully than they would have without Managers. A manager’s job is often described as providing everything his reporting employees need to successfully accomplish their jobs. One famous quote from Warren Bennis, Ph.D. in ‘On Becoming a Leader’ distinguishes management from Leadership: “Managers are people who do things right, while leaders are people who do the right thing.” Hence, it takes leaders to effectively manage time. 

Characteristics of a Successful Leadership Style.
Much is written about what makes successful leaders.  Time is such an opportunity that if we make the most of it, we have the ticket to live life at its fullest. While placing maximum value on our precious time can save us from the perils of living in the valley of torments and waste, I will put a finger on the characteristics, traits and actions that - I believe - are needed to be understood in this Seminar. Then, I will focus on what matters most amongst those guides… at the moment!

• Choose to lead.
• Be the person others choose to follow.
• Provide vision for the future.
• Provide inspiration.
• Make other people feel important and appreciated.
• Live your values. Behave ethically.
• Set the pace through your expectations and example.
• Establish an environment of continuous improvement.
• Provide opportunities for people to grow, both personally and professionally.
• Care and act with compassion.
• Learn, master the art, and control the use of your TIME.

Goals and Motivation

While humans use their sense of appropriating reasons for misfortunes, our Lord sees the massive waste inherent in much ado about finger-pointing at the expense of timely action to improve life- John 9: 1-4.

Motivation, goal-setting, self-discipline, hard-work and effective use of time go together.  Combining them puts you amongst the few wise men that are empowered to manage their lives successfully.  In 2009, I spoke in a Seminar for Church Council Leaders at Oyigbo Circuit to establish four to six goals and measurements that all leaders can understand and use to contribute to the progress of the Church business. It was fun brainstorming all of the possible metrics. We also realized that to come up with a metric for high performing leadership force would be difficult, without surmounting the problem of Time Mis-management. We spent some time discussing what a high performing work force and high performance culture might look like in a non-capitalist Organization like ours (Orthodox Church).

A paper from the Haggai Institute for Advanced Leadership maintained – and I agree – that “TIME is the great equalizer of the race. We each have 24 hours per day: We cannot extend it, store it or revise it – no-matter how hard we try.  Therefore, it is imperative that we must learn; master the act and the control of our TIME”.


It is all about established maxims!

Successful people do not find time; they make time. Time is life. It is irreversible and irreplaceable. To waste time is to waste one’s life. But when one masters his time, he masters how to make the most of this short opportunity to live.  Anyone who fails to manage his time cannot manage his/her life. Living our lives with sense of responsibility marks the difference between the fools who awaits the evils of the day, and the wise that plots the fall of such evils. (Eph. 5: 15-16.)

I remembered sitting with great men and women at the Wesley Nursery & Primary School’s Management Committee, and later our ever-virile Wesley-One Church Council, about few months ago to clearly define these metrics for all staff. You could see the tension and expectation on the faces of our School Staff. And, every employee I talked with knew what those goals and measurements (metrics) should be and how they were going to work with them every day. When released, each employee would also be able to relate to you how their job impacted those conditions of service, its quality, and profitability.   I cannot emphasize the importance of clear direction within your organization enough. Be careful, though, to recognize that there is a Darker Side of Goal Setting: Why Goal Setting Fails...  One of the most-ignored factors militating against success in this part of the world is
Disobedience to the simple discipline of TIME MANAGEMENT!  Hence, I was empowered to compile for you only Seven Maxims of Time Management!

Maxim #1:  Doing Good Things only bring success if those acts are those that matter most!

Refuse to get yourself busier and busier doing what you consider the good things, until you have stopped to ask yourself – and get sure that what you are doing is actually what matters most.  Time is a resource that is unlike other resources that can be saved, stored up, stock-piled or hoarded.  Either you turn it off or on, it is irreplaceable: When spent, it measures the quality of one’s life – positive or negative - depending on whether we squander it or maximize its usefulness!

Maxim #2:  The careless phrase “African time” is a curse that sticks, to undermine the success of those who keep it!

The careful watch-dog of the majority of Africa’s celebrated failures, while tracing the backwardness of the average ignorant African, saw the black man’s weapon of self-destruction. He aptly christened it “African time!” It is the foolish person’s measure of time and weapon of deliberate slothfulness.

Stop and think for a second… Have you not observed the majority of Nigerian’s attitude to time?  Lateness, idleness, slothfulness reigns within the lower rungs of the ladder. People are often never punctual.  We go to bed late (often doing nothing of importance), and we wake up late.  Almost everything here runs late: Church Service, Work, Train, Bus, and even Airplane! Almost all the very important people run late to state function because they believe that others will be late: The list is worrisome: Mr. President, Governors, Captains of Industries, Executives of Companies, Church General Overseers, Lecturers and students alike!  Most meetings, classes and programmes run late because, it seems impossible to begin on time.

Maxim #3:  Opportunity waits for no man except that person to whom time-consciousness is a skill!

Ephesians 5: 16 admonish all believers to make the most of every opportunity because the days are evil… Ecclesiastes 3: 1-9 makes us to know that there is time for everything under the sun. (Refer to 1 Peter 3: 18; Col. 4: 5; John 9: 4).

Effective use of time is a skill that can be acquired.  The better we become at practicing the skill, the more effective and proficient we become.

Have you considered how not to use our time? Wasting it with our habits and procreations at the time we should be working!  Rest is good: but, after labour. How do you plan the use of these time-killing items, behaviours and vocations: Television, Idle-Talks (Unfocused Standing Committee Meetings), Car Repairs and adumbration, Telephone and GSM Sets, Lateness to occasions or procrastination, Video and Home Decoders, Unplanned Trips? What do you do about the problems you have identified; untreated files; piled-up and un-replied mails?

Procrastination is a thief of Time. Never say you will do something that is scheduled for today on the next day.  You have seen today; do what you have to do, then do something else tomorrow. The only resource that is evenly distributed all over the world – without discrimination – is time.  The rich and the poor have only 24 Hours daily through which our lives are defined.  Always make time for things you consider important.

Maxim #4:  We always have time enough, if we will but use it right!

Those leaders who really get things well-done never start with their work: they start with their time. Effective Management involves making good choices with good habits.  You can master your time and personally manage your life.  Though I cannot teach you to become an expert on this Course of study in one short-timed Seminar, we can embrace the basics. This is where the greatest skills start from.

* Pray first, and then Plan your day. Prayer is the key that opens the most difficult-to-unlock doors of success. It is planning on its own. We always have time enough to do the most important things we have planned effectively to do. Man has to appreciate the fact that we shall never have more time: So, avoid distractions.  Every morning when the alarms ring, we have a totally new opportunity to maximize the use of each hour… We can even have the time for recreation and rest.  A successful life is nothing more than strings of successful days. Having a thought-out TO DO LIST is daily goal-setting.  When other peoples’ plans lead to your reactions, you are planning to fail.  Write down the things you want to accomplish in order of importance.  Start each day with the most important item on your list. Look into your list from time to time and check the ones that are done. If you are accomplishing something daily, you are already building the blocks of a successful life. You are saving into your integrity account. You will be overwhelmed by the results you will get in a long period of time!

* Be determined to achieve each goal before you set out. Believe in God, and then in yourself. Commit yourself to your goal: It is achievable if you believe. This way, you can develop the self-disciplined aid to goal-setting; overcome the demon of procrastination, and use your time more effectively.

* Be success-driven as you start small. The reason why most people drive themselves into disappointments is usually their emotional crave to achieve-it-all in one fell swoop! Success only comes when you take one blow at a time: Do what you should do, one step after the other!

* Desire to always work at <span>your most productive time of the day. Know your body language, first. Everyone has a body clock: that time when you feel stronger and more ready to work.  It is not the same active time with everybody.  I work better when I have a deadline, and I don’t like to be pressurized.  Like you, I feel guilty when I procrastinate.  Do you desire success? Use your time well.


Maxim #5:  Whether you are a Failure (loser) or a Success (winner) is determined by what you do with your time!

Refuse to do everything under the sun with the little time you have.  Concentrate on the most valuable use of time:  Brian Tracy says that this is what separates winners from losers.
We live by choice, not by chance.  What differentiates failures from the successful is never the factors named luck, genetics, timing or circumstances of birth or knowing the right people: It is what you do within 168 hours that makes up one week, or 21440 minutes per day!

Losers kill time; while winners use time!
Losers waste time; while winners spend time carefully!
Losers lose their time; while winners gain time, because they value it!
Losers allow time to slip away; while winners organize time!
Losers take time for granted; while winners treasure time!
Losers squander time; while winners schedule time!
Losers can’t find time; while winners make time!

Maxim #6:  Time has not changed, but human beings do change!

Great Leaders discern the times, reading God’s word. They get honest with life’s situations and ask the golden question of Time Management: *What am I doing now that does not need to be done by anyone else?  Do I know it better, given the crop of helping hands available? Has technology overtaken this method I am about to employ?  The foregoing questions include the process of elimination.  *What am I doing now that needs to be done by someone else?  This makes you to effectively delegate. *What am I doing now that wastes my time, or other people’s time… that could have been better employed for productive means?

*Set Goals.  Men have become more effective than the Stone Age.  The world has become so competitive.
*Establish priorities for your Set Goals.  Men are not made by ideas, Ideas must work for those who embrace it… or it is dumped!
*Draw maps.  Planning involves creating modus-operandi for your goals to be achieved.
*Follow procedures that lead to the achievement of your Set Goals.  Procedures eliminate time-wastage. Success comes with good goals, efficient priorities and workable plans.

Take time to consider priorities- it is the means of understanding.
Take time to work- it is the price of success.
Take time to think- it is the source of power.
Take time to plan- it is the strength of your achievement.
Take time to play- it is the secret of age renewal.
Take time to read- it is the fountain of wisdom.
Take time to be friendly- it is the hub of better relationships.
Take time to relate with others- it is the road to a happy tomorrow.
Take time to dream- it is the price of stardom.
Take time to love and be loved- it is a privilege for the redeemed humans.
Take time to give- life is too short for Man to be selfish.
Take time to laugh- it is the music for a healthier soul.
Take time to SERVE GOD- it is the only investment that predates Man, and still lasts.

If the words of wisdom above make any sense at all, remember that Time management is concerned with the life in each of your days. I am duly supported by a great thinker who wrote:  “It is not the days of your life, but the life in your days that count.” – Stevenson.

Time has not changed, but human beings do change!  But how do we deal with our priorities?  *Be honestly truthful to yourself.  *Consider how urgent that matter of priority is.  *Should it be done now? Can it wait today, till another time soon or someday?  *Make sure you are not procrastinating about an issue you have thoroughly considered to be of ultimate importance.

How important is that your matter of urgency over other issues facing you?  Candidly, will solving this matter build goodwill and better friendship with your God? How important: Is it quite necessary? Somewhat important? Not so vital?

Have you considered the availability of resources? In your heart of hearts, do you reckon that God will gladly provide the funds and necessary wherewithal for this priority as you pray?  How often must this priority be executed? Daily? Weekly? Sometimes?  Can someone else do this better?  Is it part of the larger goals I must accomplish? Is the way I have chosen to go about it the best?

What we call urgent matters, when put under divine stethoscope, are seldom important.  Important Matters are seldom urgent.  That was the reasoning of Late American General Eisenhower.  

Maxim #7:  Those leaders who really get things well-done never start with their work: they start with their time!

In Christianity, life is mostly about COMMITMENT! So, we agree on three Great Commitments:
*Our commitment to God through our total faith in His son, JESUS CHRIST. This earns us a relationship with, and reconciliation to, our maker.
*Our commitment to God’s work. Have you read Acts 1:8, Joshua 1: 8 today? God has given us tasks to perform.
*Our commitment to the body of JESUS CHRIST. Please study John 13: 34;
1 John 5: 23; John 17: 21.  Our commitment is a task. Do you have time for yourself, your own family, the family of God?  Do you now have time for someone else? Have you any time left to plan for the task to which he is calling you?

Now, we can consider life in a broad sense… to be able to get things well-done.  When you get a job, do you consider yourself a master of all fields? Great leaders ask themselves ‘What am I better doing with my time?’ ‘Can anyone do this part of the work better than I am, while I face the one I am sure no one else does better?’ Those leaders consider their time and delegate duties to honest working men.  They ask the questions: Who may I delegate, and what is his qualification over others?  Is he available, and at what price?  Should I reschedule the timing for the job, or eliminate it altogether?  Where is the place of sequence?  Are there objectives to re-define?  Leaders who are hungry for success do not consider who takes the glory: for they know that the success’ accolades always go to the head of the team that achieves the timeless goal. 

Conclusion

*As we round-up, let us look at the issue of ‘Meeting Management’ as it relates to Competing Conversations.  Do you want to develop effective working relationships with people at work? Get to the round table earlier than your subordinates! Effective interaction by people in business meetings can create effective work relationships. Effectively timed group meetings manage the interaction of difficult people holding competing conversations. Start by planning early, appearing early, and then work on how to effectively manage a meeting, and make sure that this meeting is productive, too.  
We can establish our priorities by listing all our goals, and watching over them as we go about fulfilling them.  Make sure that these goals are measurable. Do not accomplish any goal until you have analyzed the WHYs of each of them.  Make sure that those ones that do not glorify God will only waste your precious time: Each Christian goal must add value to life.
Those things that must be done must be very important.
Those things that should be done must be somewhat important.
Those things which can be done must be not so important.

In taking your action after now, please consider these timeless truths:
Wrong action, executed at the wrong time is a Disaster.
Wrong action, executed at the right time is a Mistake.
Right action, executed at the wrong time is a form of Resistance.
Right action, executed at the right time leads to Success.

Eccl 12:13 say “Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: Fear God, and keep his commandments: for this is the whole duty of man.” (KJV).

Remember: The city is built with the wisdom of the wise and the folly of the fools.  I do acknowledge the wisdom of all those who had ever written on this subject matter.

Thank you for your attention.

10 REASONS WHY YOU MUST MANIFEST

 In life, there are three kinds of people:(a) Those who make things happen, (b)Those who watch things happen and (c)Those who wonder what happened.

I want to add a fourth and fifth group: (d)Those who need others to push them before they make something happen and (e) Those who push others in the other groups to do their jobs.

It is not partiality on God's part; it's just that the task assigned to the destiny of some needs a lot of fire-power by way of gifts, talents and all-what-not. But EVERYONE on earth has something to accomplish - It you aren't making things happen, maybe you are meant to WATCH things happen (at least to know things are happening the way they should) or maybe to WONDER what happened and equate it to what SHOULD happen and what SHOULD NOT happen or better still, you are meant to give the other 4 groups a push to MAKE THEM do their bit.

I know all of us would want to belong to the first group of people but the best thing to do is find out which group you belong to and get cracking at doing a good job. I do not mean to see any of the groups in a negative light because I have learnt over time that NOBODY is useless if he/she tries to do something worthwhile.

But you see, because you were crafted in the presence of God's Divine Omni-Presence, you should know that NOTHING can stop you from Manifesting His Presence in the generation you find yourself, not even the devil can stop you! Only you can stop yourself. Shocking? I hope not. I have convinced myself that I am inexcusable. If this generation does not get to know that someone like me left my footprints on the sands of eternity then I have failed in my duty.

I want to list 10 reasons why you MUST begin to MANIFEST and explain them a bit. Here goes:

1. YOU WERE CREATED TO MANIFEST (GENESIS 1:26-31): When God considered the idea of making you and proposed it to Himself, it came with a list of things for you to do and accomplish. I marvel when I see people crying over things they had as sub-ordinates in their job description!

2. THERE MAY NOT BE ANOTHER PERSON GOD CAN USE AT THAT TIME (GENESIS 6:1-22): What if you find yourself alone in a place and God has a job He knows you can do - will you walk away from Him or will you justify His trust and do the job?

3. THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO HAVE DECIDED TO MESS UP YOUR LIFE AND PLACE YOU AS A NONENTITY (NUMBERS 25:1-15): Some people don't want to see you succeed but they are powerless to stop you so they work on your mind, your emotions, your psyche and sometimes they succeed, not because they are good at it but simply because we let them. I used to be told as a child sometimes that I was useless by people around me but today, I have overtaken them all.

4. YOU MAY BE THE LAST OR ONLY HOPE FOR THE PEOPLE AROUND YOU! (JUDGES 6:1-16): Sometimes, all you need to push you into doing something is to look into the faces of those around you who see the potentials you have and are hoping for something they know you are capable of.

5. YOU HAVE SOMETHING IN YOU CRYING TO BE LET OUT INSPITE OF WHAT PEOPLE THINK (JOSHUA 2:1-21; 6:16,17): Self-defeat is the worst kind of defeat. Listen to your dreams crying to be let out and do not let former mistakes stop you from taking the present opportunities to set the right and turn your future around. Respect is earned not given freely. You want to be respected? EARN IT!!!!!!

6. YOU CAN CHANGE THE STATUS QUO AND IT IS NOT BY KEEPING QUIET (1 SAMUEL 17:1-58): The problem with the Country is not that corrupt leadership ruined it. It is just that good people kept quiet when they should have done something.

7. ONLY YOU CAN STOP THE MOCKERY AND IT IS NOT BY SITTING DOWN OR SELF-PITY (1 SAMUEL 1:1 - 2:10): SELF-PITY WILL MAKE YOU AN EASY PREY FOR THOSE WHO DERIVE JOY IN FEEDING OFF OTHER PEOPLE'S MISFORTUNE. Do not be a victim, learn to be a survivor or better still a victor!

8. THE ALTERNATIVE IS TOO HORRIBLE TO COMPREHEND (2 KINGS 7:-11): Let me use this illustration. Let's say you are aware that a particular Pharmacy sells fake/expired drugs and you do not do anything about it; somewhere down the line, the operator of the drug shop expands his business and opens a shop close to your family somewhere and in a bid to treat a minor ailment, your beloved family member goes to that medicine shop and purchases drugs and there is a fatality. Who will you blame? God?

9. GOD HAD THIS JOB WAITING FOR YOU FROM THE WOMB EVEN BEFORE YOU WERE FORMED (JEREMIAH 1:1-10): We all carry greatness on our inside (Read also Psalm 8) but greatness will only be greatness when it is let out for people to say WOW!

10. YOU ARE THE ONE EVERYONE SEEMS TO BE WAITING FOR (ROMANS 8:1-END): Jesus only had THREE years to Manifest and forever He is a legend! Abraham did not begin Manifesting till he was 75 years old but we know him today as the father of faith! Do not let time or age limit you - just look at the person in the mirror and say with me: _______________________ (your name), your time has come to MANIFEST! Creation has waited long enough!!

Culled from my book: TEN REASONS WHY YOU MUST MANIFEST (Unpublished) by The Rev. Kelechi Timothy Francis

7 THINGS TO DO WHEN YOU THINK ALL IS LOST

The Lord once told me to learn from the Rose flower. I took a little while to consider what He meant and I came to realise that LIFE IS A BED OF ROSES! How? Let me explain. The rose is one of the prettiest flowers ever to be seen on the face of the earth. I have been comforted from a lot of hurt just by sighting a rose in full bloom: it is that unique! The is a flower in a class of its own but God made the rose WITH THORNS. These thorns serve as a defence mechanism and saves the flower from rough hands and grabbing fingers. But the beauty of it all is simple: For the one who loves the rose, the beauty of the flower is compensation enough for the pains of the thorns while the pains of the thorns further enhance  and emphasize the beauty of the flower. That's life. So when next you think all is lost and there is nothing worth living for, consider these:

1. SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE IS LOOKING UP TO YOU: There is (naturally) one little child or the other that considers you a hero. Nobody likes to appear weak before a child because we do not want them to grow with a misconception. No matter how much we cry, we try to put up a brave face and heart when one little child comes up to us to know why we are crying. If you won't take courage for anything else, remember your little son, daughter, brother, sister, cousin, nephew and niece or yet remember that little child in the orphanage looking for a reason to smile or that little child in the intensive care unit of the hospital, bravely battling Cancer and facing death with a smile on his face.

2. TODAY'S CHUMP CAN BE TOMORROWS CHAMP: There are many people in history, in the Bible, in life who faced situations where they almost gave up but got back from the brink in the nick of time and are today enjoying success. There is no genuine success story without a period of sadness and pain.Abraham Lincoln remains one of the finest ever American Presidents in history but he would not have had this place in history if he had given up in his trying times. Quitters never win and winners never quit. Are you a winner? Or a quitter?

3. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO REMEMBERED AS?: Even in death, nobody wants to be remembered with disgust and contempt. If Judas Iscariot had known that men would even hate the sound of his name (which by-the-way means PRAISE) and not permit their sons to bear such, he would have waited a while longer and reconsidered his inglorious exist strategy.

4. YOUR COURAGE CAN BE PUT TO BETTER USE: Those who are "brave" enough to take their own lives should ask themselves what the outcome would be if they channel such courage into resolving to succeed. Great men are not those who lie down and die when they face terrible times but those who look at other options to succeed. All the doors cannot close at the same time. If earthly doors are closed, look up to God and ask for His help. Believe me, He answers. When you think your life is over, turn it over to Him and see what God is like.

5. THERE IS ALWAYS A WAY OUT: Some people are indebted to the tune of unmentionable figures! There are those whose painstakingly built reputations are about to go down the drain because of a "little" mistake and others whose marriages are crashing after many years of faithfulness to their spouses. Wow! But I want to announce to you that there are people living today that had worse situations but are today smiling. They found a way out and because they are living witnesses, I know that there is a way out. What were their secrets? You can only find out if you courageously face your problems squarely and believe in yourself to succeed.

6. LEARN TO CRY OUT FOR HELP: Not everyone will pucker their faces and hide a sneer behind their hands if you open up and ask for help. Let us think about this thoroughly. Do you really think your life is useless? You and I know better! If you were useless, you never would have been born so cry out.  Jabez in 1st Chronicles 4:9-10 cried out when the situation became unbearable and God heard him.

7. FORGET THE FAILURE AND FOCUS ON THE FUTURE: Actually, this should have been the first item but I put it last because I felt it was better this way. Your future is bright irrespective of the present situation. While there is life, there is hope and as long as hope remains, a change must surely come - it is only a matter of time. What is your desire for your future? Is the challenge strong enough to truncate your own conviction about your future? I learnt that one of the ingredients that helps the Sunflower open up to the sun is the heat of the morning sun. Sometimes, that is what you need - a shot of adrenaline in form of a terrible situation; to bring out the Champion in you!

The tea bag on its own cannot be useful but when men want to make use of it, they dip it into hot water (sometimes scalding water) and that is when the tea bag shows the stuff it is made of. Don't drown in your sorrow - SHOW THEM THE STUFF YOU ARE MADE OF.

IT IS WELL WITH YOU.

3 THINGS TO DO WHEN IT SEEMS YOUR DREAMS ARE DEAD

I have discovered that everyone has a dream of who he/she wants to become in life, what they want to achieve, what kind of lifestyle they would like to live and how to sail into the fulfillment of their dreams. Nobody seems to remember that there are bumps on the road and it is not always smooth sailing. I once travelled from Rivers State to Edo State and I noticed that portions of the road were so good, we were literally cruising and others were so bad we had to slow to a crawl to safely navigate the bad spots. That is life. Same thing with dreams; there is always a bad spot when it seems you might never get fulfillment. Here are three things to do to keep on course:

1. HOLD ON TO THE ONE LITTLE SPARK OF HOPE IN YOUR HEART: No matter how hard one is hit and how hopeless the situation always seems to be, I have come to understand and realise that within every human being, there is that little spark of hope. You could call it hot ashes or even smouldering embers but it is there. I urge you to hold on to it. Be brutal in denial if you must, but whatever you do, DO NOT LOSE YOUR GRIP ON THAT SPARK OF HOPE because hope does not allow one to be ashamed, the end of your expectations will be tremendous. Joseph in (Genesis 37) was lively and full of dreams but had his storms. Chapters 39 - 45 talk about his gradual but consistent rise to the top of his dreams...Do not lose hope, beloved, you will soon get there.

2. DETERMINE IN YOUR HEART TO TURN A DEAF EAR TO ANYTHING THAT SUGGESTS A CONTRARY STANCE TO YOURS IRRESPECTIVE OF HOW SENSIBLE OR GENUINE IT SOUNDS: Nobody can defeat you but you. Defeat starts from self-defeat; belief starts from self-belief. The dream is yours and no one else's; others are permitted to help you fulfill it but NOBODY should be permitted to help you truncate (kill) it. A wise man once told me: WHEN STRENGTH FAILS, DREAMS ARE ABORTED! Many may want to sincerely, with good intentions, plead with you to spare yourself the hurt of the present situation and settle for less than the best. If you agree, you are simply telling them that you are not good enough for anything but second-best. In Ruth Chapter 1 verse 8 - 18, Naomi tried hard to dissuade her daughters-in-law from following the remaining link to the fulfillment of their dreams and she succeeded in convincing Orpah to settle for less than the best; but Ruth made up her mind to get the best or die trying!

3. MAKE UP YOUR MIND TO SKIP THE MORSELS OF CONSOLATION AND WAIT FOR THE MAIN DISH: Joseph, as we read in Genesis 39, 40 had opportunities to eat scraps and lick his lips with delight in anticipation of the main course. Had he listened to Portiphar's wife, he would never have risen to become Portiphar's Boss. Had he been content with being just the Prisoner in charge of other prisoners, he would have lived out his life as Chief warder of the prisons of Egypt; but because he dared to keep believing his dreams, he ended up with the best of it all - AS PRIME MINISTER OF EGYPT!

At the end of all discussions, the buck stops with you. Your destiny is yours and your choices will help you to make it to the top or settle for less than the best. What is your decision, beloved? Lie down and die? Or straighten up and believe in yourself? The choice is yours.

-The Rev. Kelechi Timothy Francis

7 THINGS MEN WISH THEIR WOMEN WOULD LEARN ABOUT THEM

It seems partial to always be on the side of the women and to give people the impression that the men do not need care. On the contrary, men need certain things from their women and the following seven (7) are just a few of the major ones that can help any relationship:

1. THEY LOVE TO BE IN CHARGE: It does seem this is a well-known characteristic. Some ladies would say - "Talk something else" but listen carefully. Some men want to do all the work to take care of the family, not letting the wife do anything and they demand the respect of being in charge. Others love to share the responsibility with their wives but still want to be seen as being in charge while a few leave all the work to the wife and still want to be seen as being "the man". It is how we are made and when the woman realises this and gives him this respect in full even if she picks the tab for everything, the relationship will be wonderful.

2. THEY LOVE TO BE PETTED BY THEIR WIVES: Has it ever occurred to you that in as much as most men want sons, they are putty in the hands of their daughters? Some women seem to stop petting their husbands after going through the pain of childbirth. They forget the pet names and even when they remember the pet names, they call it without the same passion with which they started. My wife learnt the secret of Abraham's long-lasting love with Sarah - She called him "Lord", not because he deserved it but because she loved him enough to see him as her everything! (1Peter 3:1-7).

3. THEY LOVE TO BE THE "ONLY" ONE: Men are naturally jealous. It is not because he does not trust you. It is simply because he always remembers what he went through to get you and as such he does not, in any way, want to see those who didn't suffer getting what he suffered to get and therefore every other "friend" is a suspect until proven otherwise. A wife, who truly wants to make her husband happy, should try as much as possible to read her husband's features because his feelings are always worn on his face. If he does not show any response (good or bad) then he either does not love you, or he is getting "it" somewhere else.

4. THEY NEED TO HEAR THEIR WIVES TELL THEM THEY ARE GOOD: No matter how anointed and capable and immensely talented a man is, if the woman he calls his own is not impressed in any way with what he does, he feels constantly deflated. In the same way, even if the entire Milky Way tells him he is a waste of everybody's time and his wife calls him her own personal champ, he will feel on top of the world - that is how much your opinion matters to him.

5. THEY NEED THEIR SPOUSES TO BE INTELLIGENT: Intelligence has nothing to do with education- it's just that with education, one has an edge; Illiteracy, therefore, is no excuse for a lack of intelligence. A man wants to walk into a room full of his mates and be able to brag about his wife education or not. With intelligence comes smartness and even the Bible says that the price of a virtuous (not educated) woman is far above rubies (Proverbs 31:10-31). One of my wife's greatest skills is cooking and with it, she has wisdom and the ability to raise my standard of living - It is no wonder she is my "bestest" friend!

6. THEY NEED THEIR SPOUSES TO RETAIN THEIR SENSE OF ROMANCE: Forget the fact that his face looks like stone, just try this: Cook his best meal one cool Friday evening, get yourself a lingerie or nightie that is transparent and revealing, take a thorough scented bath and reset the bedroom to mirror your mood. Now, wear a sweet perfume, dress normally and welcome him at the door like you have never done before. Help him take off his sweaty clothes, lead him to the bathroom where water is ready for his bath, serve him his food and change into the nightie you bought...Tell me about it in the morning!

7. THEY NEED THEIR WIVES TO BE SEXUALLY UP TO DATE: Do not get me wrong! It is not all about what happens in B-movies. Sex was meant to be enjoyed IN MARRIAGE and everyone who partakes in pre-marital or extra-marital sex is STEALING sex. Some couples have turned sex into a routine time-table chore because maybe you switch off and allow him to huff and puff. Why not try different sex positions and a little more romantic foreplay? Men want their wives to be able to do to them in bed what they have never experienced before. If you do to him what you want him to do to you during sex, you will blow his mind!

At the risk of sounding vulgar and raw (without apologies) I want to advise some of our dear beautiful sisters to learn how to properly take a bath. Shave off all hair in your pubic regions and wash your "privates" at least three (3) times a day (in the morning during bath, when you return from work and in the evening during bath). I bet you, your spouses will literally climb all over you - as I am going to do tonight!

God bless you.

MY STORY (PART 2)

1. MADE BY DIVINE UNCTION

    CREATED FROM ANOTHER DIMENSION

    UPHELD BY THE POWER IN HIS NAME, WHICH WE MENTION

    THAT'S ME...

2. LIFTED ABOVE ALL CIRCUMSTANCES AND SITUATION

    BLESSED BEYOND ALL TANGIBLE IMAGINATION

    ON COURSE FOR SUPER-DIVINE ELEVATION

    THAT'S ME...

3. A SUBJECT OF AWESOME EXCLAMATION

    DUE TO HIS GRACE AND MY POSITIVE AFFIRMATION

    EMBRACED AND NURTURED BY GOD'S SALVATION

    THAT'S ME...

4. FOCUSED ON HIS PLAN OF ETERNAL REDEMPTION

    PREPARED FOR THE LAMB'S MARRIAGE SUPPER ORDINATION

    EMPOWERED TO LEAD SOULS AWAY FROM ETERNAL DAMNATION

    THAT'S ME...

5. JESUS CHRIST IS LORD - THERE IS NO CONTRADICTION

    DOSES OF HIS WORD HAVE NO CONTRA-INDICATIONS

    ACCEPT HIM AS SAVIOUR AND LORD IS YOUR TICKET TO EMANCIPATION

    TRUST ME!

THE REV. KELECHI TIMOTHY FRANCIS/PORT HARCOURT/10.39PM/18-10-10

MY STORY (PART 1)

MY STORY

I WAS

CREATED IN HIS IMAGE

MADE TO CARRY HIS MESSAGE

FORMED FROM THE SOURCE MATERIAL

GIVEN A SWEET MANDATE – THE CRITERIA

PLACED IN SERENITY

TO RISE FROM OBSCURITY

A TARGET FOR DIVINE FELLOWSHIP

WITH A HELPER FOR COMPANIONSHIP…

…THEN I LOST,

PREFERING THE CARESSES OF LOVE

TO THE PROMISES FROM ABOVE,

I SUCCUMBED TO THE CUNNING OF SATAN

INSTEAD OF THE WISDOM GIVEN ME IN EDEN.

I EXCHANGED THE BEAUTY OF THE DIVINE

FOR SWIFT, STEEP AND SINFUL DECLINE…

…BUT NOW I’M BACK

RE-POSSESSING THE GROUND ONCE LOST,

I’M TAKING CHARGE, HAVING COUNTED THE COST.

FOR NO SACRIFICE CAN BE GREATER THAN CALVARY

TO PURCHASE FOR ME DIVINE DIPLOMATIC IMMUNITY

AS LONG AS GOD’S THOUGHTS FOR ME ARE GOOD,

I’VE ALWAYS EXPECTED A GLORIOUS END AS BEST I COULD. (12:30AM)

7 CHARACTERISTICS OF WOMEN THAT MEN SHOULD DO WELL TO LEARN

In relationships today, there seems to be a problem immediately the words "marriage", "committment" are mentioned. The reason being that the men sometimes get "scared" of finding out things about their "women" that would sour their relationships if they commit. How can you deal with the fears? Here are Seven (7) things about women every man needs to know....and prepare themselves for:

1. THEY ARE EMOTIONAL: Everything around a woman brings out her emotional side especially when she is with the person she loves. As long as a woman's heart is occupied with someone, she is receptive to all kinds of emotions. She can be possessive (some of them hide this effectively), she exhibits signs jealousy when her position seems threatened, she guards her "territory" jealously even when you hardly notice it. She can be extreme with her emotions but all are genuine feelings that stem from her love for you.

2. THEY DEMAND YOUR TOTAL ATTENTION: Most men are angry why their women tend to disturb them over "trivial" issues when they provide her with whatever she "needs". A woman who loves you does not need your money or gifts half as much as she needs your ears, your eyes and your heart. You may be the poorest guy around but if you learn to give her your total attention, she can die for you. They want you to ask them how their day went and then expect you to listen carefully and interestedly to the long and unabridged version. It is how they are made, just love them the same way.

3. THEY ALWAYS KNOW WHAT TO SAY TO "DISTABILIZE" THEIR MAN: All women have this unique gift of not lacking the right words to say to provoke you to things you normally would not want to do. In the same vein, they can also say the right words to spur the man they love to heights he never expected to attain. They are that good. So next time they say the words that provoke you, just take it as one of their unique gifts and appreciate the beauty behind the frowning face and the pouting lips!

4. THEY ARE VERSATILE AND DYNAMIC: I know the Bible describes women as the weaker sex but that goes to show that if they are capable of the things I have come to notice, then the men are performing well below expectation! Women are the more focused in every relationship and whatever they set their minds on, they achieve it because they do it with singleness of purpose. If you teach your spouse to believe in herself and give her the chance to express herself, she can make you President. It is amazing how my mum was able to get up so early in the morning, make breakfast, bath the kids, minister to her husband, go to work, perform at work, return on time to make lunch, get the kids back from school, wash the dirty laundry that can not wait till tomorrow, get the kids to sleep and keep them under discipline, make dinner for her husband, get the kids to eat, tuck them in at night, go through the house to make sure all things are okay, sometimes succumb to the sexual demands of her husband , sleep late, wake up early and start the circle all over again. Man, can you do that? Honestly?

5. THEY ARE ADAPTABLE: Take a woman who loves you to the City and she will blend in perfectly. Take that same woman to the village after years in the City and she will adapt admirably - as long as she is sure of your love, she can do anything for you.

6. THEY HAVE A LARGE CAPACITY TO LOVE AND ENDURE: A woman can die for what she believes in, for what she loves. She can endure long periods of pain and discomfort for the people she loves. This makes her to be innovative and to explore avenues to make the family stronger in everything. She literally makes water to flow in the desert.

7. THEY ARE NEVER TIRED OF HEARING THOSE MAGIC WORDS: I LOVE YOU!: The best thing you can do for your wife is to tell her each day how much you love and appreciate her. I have learnt to appreciate my wife every day with those words. Each time I say it, she glows and becomes like a flower in bloom. She never gets tired of it. It sounds genuine and authentic when it comes from someone she has given herself to in all totality.

There may be other things but if you faithfully learn to appreciate the treasure by your side, you will have a Marriage made in heaven, I assure you.

CALVARY-QUINE: Praising God through Poetry

CALVARY-QUINE

IT WASN’T ALL ABOUT PERSONALITY

RATHER MORE FOR THE SAKE OF MY ETERNITY

A MEETING WAS HELD ON HIGH

I CAN’T REALLY DELIBERATE ON THE WHY

I WAS JUST THE TARGET

OF HEAVEN’S NEWEST BUDGET.

IT REQUIRED DIVINITY’S HUMAN PRESENCE

AND THE OFFERING OF HIS VERY ESSENCE –

I WASN’T MUCH TO LOOK AT; BUT HE CAME

TO MAKE THE ODDS COUNT ‘GAINST THE DEVIL IN LIFE’S GAME

I THINK ONE NEVER FORGETS

THOSE VOCALLY PRESENTED GOLDEN NUGGETS

AS HE WOVE HIS WAY AROUND MY SINFUL IMMUNITY

TO LEAD ME INTO HEAVEN’S COMMUNITY.

THE LAST ACT THAT GOT ME HOOKED? – YOU WON’T BELIEVE IT!!!!

HE TOOK MY LUGGAGE OF LIMITATIONS AND “FINISHED” IT;

FOR ALL MY ATTEMPTS AT SUICIDE WITH MASSIVE DOSES OF “INIQUITY-QUINE”,

HE SAVED MY LIFE WITH JUST A TABLET OF “CALVARY-QUINE”!

-REV. KELECHI TIMOTHY FRANCIS/25-03-10/12:13AM/YENAGOA

THREE THINGS MY FATHER TOLD ME THAT CHANGED MY LIFE

In life, wisdom is better than wealth and stronger than strength. A wise man can take down a city and like the mythological tales of the City of Troy in ancient Greek folklore, Odysseus' wisdom did what Menelaus' might could not do: It took down a hitherto impregnable city! My father shared certain words with me that shaped my attitude towards life and helped me on the road to excellence and I want to share three(3) of them with you.

1. DO NOT ALLOW YOURSELF TO MAKE THE MISTAKES BEFORE YOU LEARN; RATHER LEARN FROM OTHERS' MISTAKES

He told me a story of three animals that were asked the same question- the goat, the cow and the sheep. They were asked how long it would take them to learn one lesson from the experiences they had to pass through in life.

The goat said: I think if something should happen to me about four or five times, I would learn from it.

The cow said: Four or five times? That's too much! I think two or three times would suffice.

The sheep shook her head and said: I don't need to have any of those experiences. I just need to look at the goat and the cow and learn from what they suffered.

You do not need to pass through some experiences in order to learn from them - others have passed that road; learn from those people.

2. WHAT AN OLD MAN SEES SITTING DOWN, A YOUNG MAN CANNOT SEE EVEN IF HE CLIMBS ATOP SOMETHING

I have seen a disturbing trend in our generation - the young are despising the old and are therefore making terrible mistakes in their lives. Many young people have died before their time because they failed to make use of the opportunities they had to glean wisdom from the experiences of the elderly. I took a survey among people who played chess or draughts and discovered that those who started playing with old men at a tender age became champions earlier than those who gained the knowledge on their own.

3. NO MATTER HOW HARD IT IS TO BELIEVE, THERE IS A TOMORROW AND IT CAN BE BETTER THAN TODAY-IF ONLY YOU KEEP BELIEVING IN GOD AND IN YOURSELF

I have ultimately learnt that you cannot be defeated except you ACCEPT defeat. Your mind is the greatest weapon given to you on earth. Whatever you believe in the realm of the mind and expect to happen, just affirm it in your words and work towards it by your actions and you will see it manifest in due time. Nobody is a total failure except he/she decides it is so. I made up my mind LONG AGO that the opinion of men should not faze me-I believe in what God has said about me and as I explore the full potentials of the manifold grace of God upon my life, I have no reason to fail. NOT EVEN ONE!!!

It has nothing to do with situations and circumstances; it has nothing to do with opinions and public polls; it has EVERYTHING to do with ATTITUDE. If God had allowed the darkness to faze Him, He would not have created light (Genesis 1:1-3). You are made in God's image and in His likeness (even the ability to see possibility in every impossibility and to change the status quo) so get up and start speaking your ideal environment into existence. I love you!

5 WAYS A HUSBAND SHOULD LOVE HIS NEWLY WEDDED WIFE

A wise man once said that there is a gap between Expectation and Manifestation and this gap is bridged by Hardwork. It takes work to accomplish anything in life and when one works against the trend and the tide, more energy is expended which adds HARD to the word WORK. Here are 5 tips to newly weds on how the husband should love his wife:

1. DO UNTO HER WHAT YOU WANT HER TO DO UNTO YOU: When we get newly married, it is a new experience (especially for those doing it for the first time) and the wide-eyed bride would want the euphoria of the Courtship and the sweet love-making of the first night of marriage to continue. Above all, she wants to follow your lead since you are are head. Do only the things you want her to copy from you.

2. DO NOT TAKE HER NAIVETY FOR STUPIDITY: Women are wise beyond what they appear to be and they are very perceptive. Try not to play on her ignorance but rather teach her the things she does not know with all patience and love.

3. DON'T PRETEND TO BE WHAT YOU ARE NOT: You have married her and the time for being a braggart is over. Marriage is reality and it is only when both of you work together that you can make it. That is why if you have need of some counsel , do not brainstorm with your friends, try it with your wife and you will be amazed at the insight she has!

4.LEARN HOW TO SATISFY HER SEXUALLY: Sometimes, the man may think that a woman does not need her orgasms. What a misconception!! Prior to what people think, orgasms are meant to be enjoyed IN MARRIAGE but people have learnt to steal, outside marriage, what should be enjoyed in it. Learn how to satisfy her sexually every time.

5. DO NOT KEEP ANYTHING ABOUT YOU SECRET FROM HER: Women have their ways of finding out secrets and when they do. they feel betrayed and unloved. Try to be open to your wife and let her know what happens to you and how you need her help to deal with it. This makes her feel special and NEEDED and you will see her blossoming in the marriage.

There are so many others covered in my book: HOW TO LOVE YOUR WIFE by The Rev. Kelechi Timothy Francis (Coming soon to your bookstands). Have a sweet married life...

TEN THINGS LADIES SHOULD NOT DO WHEN IN COURTSHIP

Many young women have truncated their relationships just before the wedding day; some, after the wedding and it has been observed that their Spouses complain that the woman they married turned out not to be the lady they dated! How is that possible? Well, here are 10 things NOT to do while in Courtship - if you sincerely hope to have a long and happy marriage (that is if you get to the Wedding Day):

1. DO NOT BE HASTY TO BELIEVE WHATEVER YOU HEAR: I once asked a lady why women fall for the same mistake with different men and she said, "The men tell them what they WANT to hear". In as much as you want to hear it, do not be hasty to believe it until you are convinced in your heart and spirit.

2. DO NOT BE QUICK TO GO TO BED WITH HIM: Many women think that the best way to prove their love and loyalty to their man is to go to bed with him. If he cannot wait till after your wedding to bask in the warmth of your loins, then he simply does not love you enough. Many men cheapen a woman because when they asked for sex, it came without much fuss.

3. DO NOT DISCUSS YOUR RELATIONSHIP SECRETS WITH YOUR FRIENDS: There are things which are private and best kept so. If you cannot do it for yourself, do it for the man you claim to love. Many relationships have been broken because the man found out that his secrets are not sacred with his fiancee.

4. DO NOT KEEP SECRETS FROM YOUR FIANCE: If you truly love him, tell him about yourself and tell him every hidden secrets that you have kept to yourself no matter how ugly. If he loves you, he will stay. A broken engagement is better than a broken marriage.

5. DO NOT PRETEND TO BE WHAT YOU ARE NOT: A lady once told me that ladies ALWAYS pretend because it is in their nature to do so in their relationships. That is not so true! Can you keep up the pretence all your life? If your answer is no, then do not start what you cannot finish.

6. DO NOT KEEP ANOTHER RELATIONSHIP BY THE SIDE: Some young ladies have been known to have another relationship on the side in case the one they are focusing on disappoints them. If you do not have enough confidence to keep one, you cannot be sure of the other and once you learn to have divided loyalties, it can follow you into your marriage.

7. DO NOT ALLOW A PAST EXPERIENCE TO NEGATIVELY INFLUENCE THE PRESENT: Every new relationship is a new experience. If you allow yourself to hold on to the hurts of the past, you cannot effectively harness the present in order to enjoy the future.

8. DO NOT RESTRICT YOURSELF FROM EXPRESSING YOUR LOVE: Apart from sex and its appurtenances, express your love in other ways by buying him gifts, calling him to ask about his progress and generally making him feel like the man he is supposed to be in your life.

9. DO NOT WASH YOUR DIRTY LINEN IN PUBLIC: Please, oh! Please, do not engage in arguments with him in public. Express your displeasure but do not overdo it. There are many ways to tell him he has offended you without throwing a public tantrum!

10. DO NOT FORGET GOD: If you are a christian, you know this is the first thing you should hold on to; if you are not a christian, there is need to remember that nothing happens by coincidence. Events have a divine touch behind them and in a world such as ours, there is need to take a stand - for God, or not!

Now, GET CRACKING AT THAT RELATIONSHIP!